Why I wrote this book:

When I was born, my oldest sister suggested I be named after the Blessed Virgin--and so I was. Because of that, I have always felt that Mary and I should be close friends. Yet, we never were. I consistently felt an underlying tug, drawing me to her, and I even went through the motions of devotions at different times during my life. But I never was able to chip through the plaster and get her out of the lifeless statues I saw at church, and find the real Mary. She remained aloof, cold and untouchable to me. I wasn't about to relate to a cheap imitation.

This series of dialogues was born out of one last attempt to bring Mary to life for me. They have allowed me a chance to see Mary through her eyes. They have helped me see things Mary and I have in common, where once I only saw an unbridgeable gap.

In this series of fictional dialogues, many unusual aspects of what Mary's life could have been like, surface. I have based my personal conjectures on research, prayer, Scripture study, tapes, reading and talking. None of this is written with disrespect. Mary and Jesus were both human, and I have made attempts to grasp onto their humanness. This is not meant to detract from their holiness, but hopefully will give a new insight into what it means to be spiritual. I can only attain a Christ-like life if my humanity is integrated with my spirituality.

I based this series of dialogues on the premise that:

"Surely (Jesus) did not come to help angels, but rather the children of Abraham; therefore he had to become like his brothers in every way, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest before God on their behalf, to expiate the sins of the people. Since he was himself tested through what he suffered, he is able to help those who are tempted." (Hebrews 2:16-18) I believe that Mary, too, was like us in every way.

I claim no apparitions or visions, resulting in quotes from Mary. These dialogues have merely been a tool which has opened my heart to be receptive to who Mary is. They have been a means of making her real, bringing her to life. I do not claim any of these words to be direct quotations from God or Mary--although I am convinced that both have spoken to my heart through them.

I was motivated to complete and publish this series of dialogues by the growing number of people (religious and lay, Catholic and Protestant) who have confided in me of similar struggles to relate to Mary. All of the people admit to feeling an inner call to build a relationship with the mother of God, yet each tells of having a major block. These dialogues have served their purpose in my life, of breaking down these barriers. Mary has become my companion. It is my prayer that they can be a step for others toward that same beautiful relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary, the mother of God, our mother.

REVIEW

This review is reprinted with permission of The Monitor of the Diocese of Trenton, NJ. It was published April 18, 1991.

‘Through Mary's Eyes' breaks plaster image of Mother of God

Through Mary's Eyes: Conversations with the Mother of God, by Mary Lee Bensman, Magnificat Press (Avon, N.J., 1991). 109 pp., $5.95
By Terry Ann Modica
Staff Writer

For Mary Lee Bensman, the Blessed Virgin Mary seemed more like a stranger than a mother, just a plaster statue in Church.

"I never was able to chip through the plaster and get her out of the lifeless statues I saw at church and find the real Mary," Miss Bensman said. "She remained aloof, cold and untouchable to me."

To chip through the plaster, Miss Bensman said, she began writing a series of "dialogues," imaginary conversations with Mary based on Scripture, research and prayerful discernment, which she eventually compiled into a book, entitled Through Mary's Eyes: Conversations with the Mother of God.

Mary's parts in the conversations are not considered direct quotations from either the Blessed Virgin Mary of God. The author claims to have seen no apparitions or visions. She does believe, however, that both Mary and God touched her heart as she wrote the dialogues.

This touching of the heart becomes evident as one reads the book. The depth of Miss Bensman's spiritual insights indicate that a wisdom greater than her own emerged while creating the dialogues.

Written over the course of a year and a half, the book attempts to deal with questions such as what it might have been like to be pregnant with, give birth to and raise the Messiah; what it means to be a handmaid of the Lord; Mary's relationship with Joseph; Joseph's relationship with Jesus; discerning God's will, and the importance of forgiveness and prayer.

The reader follows the author's progress as she succeeds in breaking Mary out of the statue, learning from both her humanness and her holiness. Many issues confronting Catholics today are woven into the story.

On abortion, Mary is described as pointing out: "In my day, people looked on having children as a blessing. Today it's often seen as a curse."

On being God's servant: "I am the servant of the Lord; be it done unto me as you will . . . That is a good prayer to say when you have to get up in the morning before you're ready . . . It's terrific when your boss is unreasonable. It helps when those closest to you misunderstand you. It's best when you're absolutely powerless in a situation. . . Let it be done to you as he wills . . . ‘he' equals ‘love'."

On why people lead immoral lives: "It's because they are hurting inside, and never experienced enough love to be unafraid to be who they were created to be . . . If more people were less afraid to love, the world would be unrecognizably different."

By the end of the book, the word that best describes Mary and her advice to the author is "surrender."

"We expend so much energy trying to control things and people," according to Miss Bensman's Mary. "But what the Creator desires is our surrender – to let God alone have the power, be the power. When we do, we discover his power within us and there is nothing, then, that is beyond our grasp."

The result of the dialogues, the author wrote, is that "after 34 years of going through motions and rituals I never fully understood, my faith is daily becoming alive as it becomes more real"

SAMPLE CHAPTER

(Author's note:This book was born out of my journaling in a dialogue style. It is fiction.)

Carpenter of People

ML: I like hearing about Jesus when he was little. Tell me more.

Mary: Jesus used to "help" his papa in the carpentry shop from the time he was old enough to spell cubit. Some days Jesus and I would saunter into his shop and just sit and visit with him. Joseph always took time to explain things to Jesus. He trusted him with his carving tools at a young age--much younger than I cared to think about! Jesus was very good with his hands and had a knack for the business. So when Jesus was still young, Joseph would give him a scrap block of wood, and began to teach Jesus to carve. "Teaching" mainly meant lots of experimenting and practice, with Joseph giving little pointers now and then. A patient teacher he was. He always seemed to know just when to give what tip.

As Jesus grew, he went into the shop by himself to be with his papa. He had been in there one morning and came running to me with a project he had made. He came into the room, breathless and said, "See, Mama? I made it myself!” I don't recall what it was, now, but I do know I was impressed by his talents. But he was more excited to tell me what he and his papa had talked about.

Jesus: Papa had some extra time this morning, so he took me and showed me all the tools he has collected and made over the years. He said, "Jesus, a craftsman needs lots of different tools. Each one of these has a very special purpose. I can't tap pegs into holes with my plane. Nor can I shave off fine layers of wood with an awl. Each tool has a special purpose. And they are all needed to accomplish a project. It is the task of the carpenter to learn the proper function of each tool and to become skilled in its use."

Then Papa took me to where he stores his wood. "See, son, how many different types of wood there are? Each one has its unique qualities – hardness, grain, odor. Again, the skilled craftsman will have learned which wood is best for which project, and will be able to select just the right piece for the job."

Then we went and sat down in the sun. He picked up a chip of wood and turned it over in his hands. "Son, each person on earth has a special place in the world. Each is unique, with certain qualities and gifts that no one else has. God is the master craftsman and desires to use each of us to bring about his Kingdom. He needs us all to do the tasks we are called to do, and if we follow his hand, we will all work together to bring about the final masterpiece."

Then someone came up to talk to Papa, so I came home. That's neat what he said about the tools and wood huh, Mama?

Mary: Yes, son. Your father has much wisdom. You should think about the things he has said. You have a great talent for building things from wood, Jesus. For now, you will grow up to be a carpenter of wood. But one day you will become a carpenter of people, to begin to gather his vast array of tools and materials, and build his Kingdom here on earth.

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